Early Intervention Support

Is My Baby’s Behavioral Development Typical?

Your baby will love watching your face and your movements. She’ll spend time observing others to learn how to act. Babies are so curious and there is so much to discover! Babies develop at their own pace so use this simply as a guideline of activities you can do with your baby to help her develop her social and problem-solving skills.

Infants Under Four Months

When your baby is under four months, she’ll enjoy looking at herself in a mirror. Hold her in front of a mirror and see if she smiles and makes noises at herself.

Feet are fun! Put a brightly colored sock on your baby’s foot. This will encourage her to look at her feet and pull at them and catch a foot. This game will also help your baby discover parts of her own body.

Make funny faces. Sometimes your baby will be staring intently at your face, taking in every detail. Make an “oh” face; stick out your tongue or pucker your lips. Hold that expression and see if your baby will imitate it. Smile if your baby copies you!

Play the tickle, tickle feather game. Lightly stroke your baby with a feather or even a cotton ball. She’ll enjoy the sensation as she learns to isolate different body parts. Talk to the baby softly. Describe what she is feeling.

Your baby also demands attention, likes interactive play and enjoys repeating activities.

Babies Between Five and Eight Months

When your baby is between five and eight months, your baby will love looking at other babies. Invite another parent and his or baby and stay close to them as they discover each other.

Where’s the baby? When folding laundry, cover your baby with a sheet or towel. Say, “Where’s the baby?” Wait a second and pull down the cloth. “Oh, there’s the baby!”

Wave bye-bye. Wave bye-bye when you leave the room for a moment or two. As you wave, tell your baby where you are going. “I am going into the kitchen, I’ll be right back. Bye-bye.”

Share a surprise. Give your baby toys that pop-up and squeak. Let your baby discover how to make the toy squeak or pop and be just as surprised as she is!

Shhh! It’s time to whisper. As your walking or rocking your baby, whisper sweet words into her ear. This will help her calm down and provide another way to talk in a loving voice.

Your baby also demands attention, likes interactive play and enjoys repeating activities.

By 6-8 months (or earlier):

• No visual tracking
• No response to sounds
• Not beginning to repeat actions to elicit pleasurable results
• Avoids close contact or cuddling
• Inconsolable at night
• Difficult self soothing/regulating
• Doesn’t attempt to attract attention
• No interest in games like peek-a-boo

Nine to Twelve Months

Most one-year-olds can:

• Show happiness to see her parents’ face, bottle, toys and mirror
• Know strangers from family; cries when parent goes away
• Begins to play simple games
• Gives affection and love
• Pay attention to simple commands such as “No” and “Give it to me”
• Show anxiety when separated from her parents
• Have fear with new situations

By nine months, your baby might enjoy follow the leader. Use simple movements, like tapping on the table or putting on a hat. Say, “Your turn,” and see if she’ll follow along. Remember to let her have a turn at being the leader.

Wash your belly. When your baby is taking a bath, give her the washcloth. Encourage her to wash herself. Later, when she’s getting dressed let her help get dressed by pushing her arm through her shirt. These skills take a long time to develop. Be patient and practice every once and a while.

Eat like a big girl. Let your baby feed herself during snack time. Give her a choice of wholesome food like crackers, pieces of fruit or cheese. With a little help, she might be able to drink from a cup, just like you!

Put her to work! Babies this age like to help so give her a damp sponge and let her wipe the table and chairs.

By 12 months:

• Doesn’t search for hidden/removed objects
• Continues to problem solve using repetition actions rather than trial and error
• Not anticipating effects of actions (knocking over blocks)
• Not using toys for intended purposes – functional play
• Not showing interest in children her age
• Extreme difficulty waiting for desired item
• Rigidity regarding routine, food items, clothing, etc.
• Limited or fleeting eye contact

Twelve to Twenty-four Months

Most two-year-olds will:

• Recognize self in the mirror
• Play for longer periods of time
• Often says “no” to bedtime and other requests
• Enjoy dancing to music
• Feel proud when doing things independently
• Enjoy messy activities
• Be willing to release toy to her parent
• Give hugs and kisses to her parent
• Play with a ball cooperatively
• Like to be the center of attention
• Begin to say “NO”
• Imitate chores
• Show jealousy
• Begin to recognize distress in others and comfort them
• Begin to resist and fight, and become easily frustrated
• Show a wide array of emotions

Suggested ideas to help a baby between 12 and 24 months develop her social and problem-solving skills

• Now is the time to let your toddler join the family at the table. He may need a booster seat but he’ll be able to eat with his own spoon and fork. He can even help you set a place at the table.
• Play the matching game. When you’re folding laundry, play this game. Put some of the socks in a pile. Ask your toddler to find the one that matches the little green one. Show him how to match the sock if he needs help, and then ask, “Who wears these little green socks?”
• Good night nose. When getting your toddler ready for bed, say goodnight with a kiss on different parts of her body. “Goodnight little nose (kiss), goodnight little ear (kiss) etc. Ask what part of her body you should say good night to next.
• Start a collection. Take a little pail with you as you go for a walk and collect little rocks, leaves, etc. When you get home put things together into different groups. Separate the big rocks from the little rocks, the rocks from the leaves, or the black rocks from the white ones. Make sure she doesn’t put anything in her mouth.
• Give plenty of hugs. This can be a frustrating time for a toddler. Be ready to provide lots of comfort and reassurance.
• Take turns drawing. Get a large piece of paper and take turns copying what the other person draws or scribbles.
• Have a picnic. Eating on a blanket in the backyard is very fun when your toddler is this age. Make it a party by inviting a few stuffed animals to join you! On rainy days, a picnic in the living room is just as much fun.
• Everyone needs a bed. Turn a shoe box into a bed for your toddler’s favorite doll or stuffed animal. A dishtowel is the perfect size to be a blanket. Before she goes to bed, your toddler can read a story and tuck her animal into his new bed.
• Plan some play dates. She won’t be able to play independently but she will enjoy playing next to other children. Make sure there are several cars or dolls so it’s easier to share. Praise the children when they are playing well together.

By 18-24 months:

• Doesn’t understand function of common objects
• Doesn’t imitate
• Continues to mouth or use sensory/exploratory tactics to play
• Constantly moving from one item to another/inability to attend for brief periods
• Requires constant attention to remain engaged
• Not showing interest in children her age
• Extreme difficulty waiting for desired items
• Too passive

Twenty-five to Thirty-six Months

Most three-year-olds will:

• Be able to control bladder and bowel functions, but still has accidents
• Play with others for short periods of time
• Starts learning how to dress herself
• Wants to help parents
• Possibly have an imaginary friend
• Resist taking a nap but could still need one
• Become shy, possibly start to whine and possibly procrastinate
• Possibly become aggressive and frustrated easily
• Begin to follow simple rules
• Not like change
• Possibly show a wide array and quickly change emotions

Suggested ideas to help a toddler between 25 and 36 months develop her social and problem-solving skills

• Play hide the bear. Hide a stuffed animal under something. Give your child clues to help her find it. “Where’s the bear? She’s under something red.” Keep giving her clues until she finds it. Then it’s her turn to hide something and you try to find it. Where does this go? Toddlers are very good at helping you clean up, if you make it a game. If a book is on the floor and it belongs on the end table, ask her, “where does this go?”
• Learn colors with laundry. Helping you sort the laundry is a great way to learn colors. All the blue clothes go on one pile all the white on another, etc. Remember to thank her for being such a good helper.
• Help her understand her feelings. When you teach your child the names that go with feelings, she will be better able to handle her feelings. If you know your child is frustrated, us the words, “I can see that you are frustrated, but it will be your turn in a minute.”
• Have fun with friends. Invite one of your child’s friends to come play for a short period of time. Make sure there are enough toys to share. If the weather is nice, plan to meet a friend at the playground.
• Play the silly mix-up game. While your child is getting ready for bed, remind her to brush her toes. As you comb her hair, tell her how much you like combing her arms. She’ll laugh and enjoy correcting you by telling you the right name.
• Find big and little. Put a few shoes together and ask her to find the big shoe, now find the little shoe. It’s a great game to play at a park, “I see a big dog, let’s look for a little one” or even at the supermarket.
• Look for letters. When you are in the car, on a bus or even taking a walk, you can look for letters on the store signs, billboards, bumper stickers or anything else. “I see the big, yellow M, do you?”

Close to 3 years:

• Not interested in pretend play
• Not demonstrating simple categorization
• Extreme difficulty separating from parent
• Not initiating or reciprocating simple interactions with children her age
• Abnormal aggression

Three to Four Years

Most four-year-olds:

• Will play games with other children and can agree to rules
• Like to sing, dance and act
• Might be bossy and defiant
• Have an understanding of time, know “yesterday” and “next summer”
• Shows more independence
• Interested in physical difference between girls and boys

Suggested ideas to help a toddler between 3 and 4 years develop her social and problem-solving skills

• Let’s go shopping! Give your toddler some play money and set up a store. Use empty milk cartons or canned goods and unwrapped food. Or, set up a toy store will some of his toys. Help your child count the right amount of money for his purchases.
• Help at the real store. Before your next trip to the supermarket, cut out a few pictures of things you plan to purchase and put them in an envelope. Ask you child to pick out a picture to remind you what you need. If he pulls out a picture of apples, say, “Yes we need to buy apples,” and put a few apples in your cart.
• It’s time for dress-up. Go through your closets and pull out old, interesting looking clothes. Big hats, boots and scarves are fun. Let your child’s imagination run wild with the possible outfits he can create.
• Count while you wait. To help your child learn to wait, count to 10. Say, “Joe can be on the swing while we count to ten, then it’s your turn.” Count out loud with your child. He’ll learn his numbers while learning that the wait will soon be over.
• Play a memory game. Start the game by saying, “We’re going to a picnic and we’re bringing an apple.” Next is her turn to add something but she must say what you are bringing, “We’re going on a picnic and we’re bringing an apple and hot dogs.” Take turns adding things and see who can remember it all: “We’re going on a picnic and we’re bringing an apple, hot dogs, a balloon and a dog and a cake and a...”
• Fill in the blanks. Next time you’re reading one of your child’s favorite poems or nursery rhymes, pause and let her fill in a few words.

  You: Hickory, dickory...
  Child: Dock
  You: The mouse ran up the...
  Child: Clock

• Everyone can bake. Have your child help you bake cupcakes. You can measure the ingredients, she can stir. You handle anything that’s hot, she gets to spread the icing with a plastic spoon. At dinner, let her share her cupcakes with the whole family.
• Have a scavenger hunt. This can be played with other siblings and adults. First start with colors; “Find something blue and put it on the table. When you get tired of finding colors, make it harder by changing it to a category, “Find something that you put in your hair (comb, brush ponytail holder) or, “Find something we use when it’s cold outside” (coat, gloves, hats).
• Make puppets. Gluing scrapes of fabric on old socks or cut out pictures from magazines and tape them to Popsicle sticks or paint stirring sticks. Have fun talking in pretend voices.
• Practice pouring. Give your child a small pitcher or a measuring cup and let him pour his own milk into his cup. Be prepared for spills but remember, he needs to practice to get better!
• Discuss the past. When the seasons change, ask him what he remembers about summer, fall, winter or spring. Keep the conversations going with him by asking him lots of questions!

Four to Five Years

Most five-year-olds:

• Be able to dress himself
• Handle all bathroom responsibilities independently
• Follow the rules to games, but sometimes change them as he goes
• Can help with chores

Suggested ideas to help a toddler between 4 and 5 years develop her social and problem-solving skills

• Make up rhymes. Ask your child to think of a word that rhymes with pie. Let’s say she says sky. See if you can think of any more then make a funny sentence using them. “Look it the sky! A flying pie! Will it fall on my eye?”
• Go Fish! Playing card games with your child is a great way to learn how to follow rules and take turns. Old Maid and Animal Rummy are also fun. Your child might also enjoy playing Candy Land, Don’t Spill the Beans or Chutes and Ladders.
• Become a chef. This is a great age to help in the kitchen. Here’s a recipe a child can make with minimal supervision; muffin pizzas. Let your child spread some spaghetti sauce on an English muffin, sprinkle on cheese and his favorite topping. You cook the pizza in the oven for him. After he enjoys his snack, it’s time to clean up!
• Go camping in the living room. Have your child and a friend build a tent from sheets and blankets draped over chairs. Add some flashlights and maybe a few stuffed animals and they’ll have a good time.
• Play I Spy. Riding the bus or car or waiting for food in a restaurant is the perfect time to play I Spy. Say, “I spy a green hat.” And wait until your child finds it, then it’s her turn. Remember to also look for letters and numbers.
• Eat the alphabet. Make pretzels from pizza dough or pie crust dough. Cut the dough in strips and have your child help you form letters from the dough. Brush with a beaten egg and sprinkle with some salt. Bake until golden. Try to think of something that starts with the letter, before you eat it!
• Be an engaging story teller. Don’t just read a story to your child; use different voices for each character to make the story come alive. Next ask your child to do the same for you.
• Play switch. Let your child be the parent and you be the child. You pretend you need help brushing your hair. She comes and helps. Try to break one of your rules and see what your ?parent’ says. “Can I have ice cream for breakfast?” Ask her to read you a story, the list is endless!
• I can do it! Your child now can take care of a lot of her personal needs, but she will need extra time. Let her do what she can, be patient and ready to help.
• Teach 911. A preschooler should know his name, address and telephone number. Teach your child what to do in emergency. You can role-play calling 911 with a play phone but remember to teach your child to use a real phone for a real emergency.